I have tried several times today to get down the topic I wanted to blog about. I had a lot of ideas, but nothing seemed to develop from those ideas. I definitely had things I wanted to say; that’s how it usually is. My mind just becomes consumed with all these ideas and how I want to develop them. For some people who write, it’s a fiction story of some sorts that they want to get out on the page. For me, it’s my ideas about people and life in general. But sometimes there are so many, they all get jumbled up and I can’t focus on a particular topic. Then I just decided to start writing and not worry about a topic and sure enough, I realized that the topic I needed to write about was: balance. Funny part is: I was going to write about balance about a week ago and then I got so busy and well, out of balance that I forgot about it!
I don’t mean that being out of balance is always necessarily related to bad events in my life, although most of the time that is the case. Actually my being out of balance lately has been more related to good things in my life; with the exception of some medical issues with my dog and some autoimmune medication issues for myself. However knowing myself as well as I do, I am cautious about making sure that I never go too long being out of balance. I spent a long time living like that and to be honest, it is stressful and miserable…a place that I will do whatever it takes to stay out of. I firmly believe that being out of balance for long periods of time is a major contributor to anxiety, depression, and physical health issues. Knowing that stress can contribute to autoimmune disorders makes me even more vigilant about it.
So what does being out of balance mean for me? It means feeling stressed at times and not centered. It means anxiety. It means feeling physically tense. I know this is all part of life and I am good with doing this for a certain period of time, but then at some point I have to stop myself and think about if I have done anything recently (for me recently has to be within the past week or so) to really care for my body and my spirit.
Everyone has different things that make them feel more balanced personally. I realized over the past two days two necessary things that help keep me balanced. They are actually more but these are the two that I physically do to help center me. I realized what they were because I had not done them for at least a week and when I did do them, the difference was noticeable. What I did in my life before I discovered them, I don’t know. The first is writing. I only started to write on a regular basis maybe about five months ago but since I have started, it has become such a passion that there is not only a WANT to write but a NEED to write. Most of the time, I am not really even caring if anyone else reads what I write. If I don’t write regularly, I am out of balance. It focuses me, it soothes me, and it energizes me. I guess that is what having a passion is all about!
The second thing that balances me is something that I never thought in a million years would be such a big deal for me and that is walking. I have never been a huge fan of exercise in general. I have done my spurts of joining a gym in an effort to lose weight and be healthier, but it never stuck. Then I got sick with this whole autoimmune business. That meant a lot of joint pain, breathing difficulties, and time spent in the house, hospital and/or in bed. All of a sudden I began to appreciate the feeling of moving my body when I could because my physical activity was so limited for periods of time. I also began to crave being outside, no matter what the weather. On top of it, I have a psycho dog with severe separation anxiety which is much more manageable with regular exercise, so walking became a part of my everyday routine as much as I physically could do it. What I came to realize is that the walking and fresh air, no matter what the pace (and trust me, sometimes it’s a pathetic pace!), was not only good for me physically, but also became an incredible coping skill for keeping me in balance.
So when the world is all crazy and hectic around you, how do you find your balance?