This entry is an expanded version of a Facebook status update I was writing for the Thoughts and Ramblings Facebook page and then I thought to myself, "Self, this is why you have a blog...just for this type of thing!"
I have gotten into what I think are two bad writing habits over the years:
1. Being overly cautious about not offending people or making people upset with my writing. I mentioned this in an earlier entry and I am working on it. Apparently, I have a bad habit of doing this in my regular life as well, but that is coming along much faster.
2. Thinking that every blog entry I write has to be a well-crafted work of art. Since my average blog entry takes me anywhere for one-three hours to write, edit, etc., this habit does get in the way of production, not to mention creativity.
So, my "Thoughts and Ramblings" for today:
1. I desperately need fresh air in my house. It has been buttoned up too long. I cannot stand how dusty it is, but since this week (thanks to a brutal allergy testing session) has triggered several asthma attacks and an allergy attack that has now lasted two days, dusting is out of the question. However, I did turn down the heat and opened up the slider. Yes, it is about thirty degrees out. Who cares? Well, my husband might when he sees the electric bill but seriously, it is almost APRIL.
2. I have decided that my favorite room in the house is our dining room because it gets the most light, is very peaceful in the morning, and where I sit is directly in front of our "photo wall." By the way, there is a big gap on the right because one fell down this morning. That has been a happening trend this week: things falling down on me.
3. While trying to get my tax stuff together last night, I calculated that twenty percent of my income (just mine, not ours) goes to medical expenses every year. That's a lot. Then I realized that there are people in this country with no medical insurance at all and who cannot even access medical care. I decided I should stop whining about it. So there, I'm done. Although....I could go on and on about Obamacare, but really, who wants to listen to that?!?
4. I could write a whole blog entry about our upcoming trip to the SSF conference in Chicago at the end of April, and I probably will at some point. It's been on my mind a lot. I am thrilled to be going and am looking forward to it. But...as it gets closer and I come down more and more on my prednisone dose, I am concerned about the trip itself. I hate the fact that I even have to think about it, but then again, it I didn't have Sjögren's, I wouldn't even be going.
5. I am feeling like a bit of a failure lately in the whole book publishing department. Not because the book isn't helping people or selling, but because I always feel like I should be doing more in regards to the marketing of it. It is very hard to self-publish and market a book about an illness that you, yourself, have. It's kind of ironic actually. I read these blogs and stories about people doing all these book tours for their newly released books and I feel that that is what I should be doing. What is it they say? Comparison is the thief of joy? And honestly, I have been working hard on it, but after 2 1/2 years at this book, I am tired. I miss the time it takes away from my writing, not to mention a lot of other things. And to be honest, it doesn't pay the bills either....at all. I'm sure this is very bad to talk about on a public forum. I don't want you to think I regret the book or the self-publishing at all because, I don't. It is one of the best things to ever happen to me in my entire life, but I am sitting here wondering where I draw the line and when to let myself continue on to whatever is next...if anything.
6. In case anyone missed it, I absolutely and unconditionally love my dog, Molly. So last night my husband comes home from work and I was in my office downstairs working on my tax stuff. I hear the pounding of feet coming down the stairs and they were much louder than just his feet. Molly doesn't like to spend time downstairs; I think the stairs are harder for her now and that is part of the issue. When she does come downstairs, she self propels herself down those stairs like a friggin' freight train. So my husband comes around the corner into my office and who bolts in right ahead of him, but Molly, with her Bumble in her mouth. She got this stuffed Bumble for Christmas from a friend of ours and hasn't willingly left to go anywhere without it since. It was the first time she brought the Bumble downstairs and it was funnier than hell. You'll have to trust me on this, because I have no photo.
7. Last one. It's bothering me a lot lately how self-serving people can act. Well, it bothers me on a regular basis, but more so lately. Typically, its just a fleeting thought here and there. It makes me stop and put myself in check and make sure that I am not behaving in the same way, because I know we are all guilty of it at some point or another. Myself included. I get that whole "take care of yourself first so you can care for other people" thing; I really do. But lately, I just want to go stand somewhere, like the center of my town common, and scream at the top of my lungs: "It's not all about you!"
Luckily for me, I am surrounded my enough selfless people that I see the good in the world and keep from making a fool out of myself; at least in that realm.
That's all I got for now.
Comments and opinions welcome. Just be gentle with me this week, I am feeling extra sensitive. :-)